Real talk! If you’re reading this, chances are you’re in a relationship that’s giving you more stress than joy, That’s not how love is supposed to feel. Love is not supposed to make you feel like you’re carrying the whole relationship on your head like a market woman carrying yam tubers under the hot sun. If you’re the only one putting in the effort, you’re in a one sided relationship. And it’s time to face the truth.
Let me break it down for you in a way that’s easy to understand, If you’re feeling this thing deep in your soul, it’s because you already know something is off. You’re just too scared to admit it because you’ve invested time, money, and maybe even your last brain cell into this mess. But no worry, I will help you see the signs and tell you what you can do about it.
1. You’re Always the One Reaching Out
You’re the one always texting first, calling first, planning dates, and even asking if they’ve eaten. If you stop today, will they even notice? Or will they just ghost you until they need something. like money, attention, or help with their personal problems? If you’re the only one keeping this relationship alive, wake up, it’s not love, it’s a hustle.
- What to Do: Stop chasing someone who doesn’t value you. If they wanted to, they would. Simple.
2. Your Needs Doesn't matter
You know their favorite food, their Starbucks order, and even their mama’s birthday. But when it comes to your needs? it all goes blank, Lol. They don’t ask how your day was, they forget important dates, and when you need support, they’re always “too busy” or “stressed about bills.”
- What You have to Do: Stop settling for crumbs. You deserve someone who’s going to prioritize you as much as you prioritize them. If they can’t step up, bounce!
3. You’re Their Free Therapist
Every conversation is about their problems, their dreams, their life. Meanwhile, when you try to talk about your own struggles, they give you that “Ehn, sorry oh” and quickly change the topic. You’re not their partner, you’re their emotional trash can.
- What You can Do: Stop being their free therapist. Relationship is supposed to be 50-50, not 90-10.
4. They’re Full of Excuses
“I’m not good at texting.” “Work’s been crazy.” “I’m not good at showing emotions.” Sound familiar? Nah, fam. If they wanted to make you feel loved, they would. Stop accepting excuses for laziness and emotional unavailability. stop it alreaddy!
- What You can Do: Call them out. If they can’t change, don’t waste your time waiting for them to magically become the person you deserve.
5. Your Lame Ass is Always Making Excuses for Them
“Maybe they are just stressed.” “Maybe it’s my fault.” “Maybe they’ll change.” Stop lying to yourself. You’re not their rehab center, and you can’t love someone into treating you right. If they’re not showing up for you now, they never will.
- Do This: Stop making excuses for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you. You’re not their savior, you’re their option. And you deserve to be someone’s priority, hear me.
6. You Feel Lonely Even When You’re Together
You could be sitting down in the same room, but it feels like there’s a whole ocean between you. They’re physically there but emotionally checked out. And honestly, being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel lonely.
- Do this: Stop settling for half ass love. You deserve someone who makes you feel seen, heard, and valued. not someone who treats you like background noise.
The cold, hard truth
You can’t fix a one sided relationship by yourself. No amount of love, patience, or understanding is going to change someone who doesn’t value you. The only thing you can control is you.
- Set Boundaries: Stop giving 100% to someone who’s only giving 10%. Protect your energy and your heart.
- Communicate: Be straight up about how you feel. If they care, they’ll step up. If they don’t, you’ve got your answer.
- Walk Away: If nothing changes, pack your load and go. You deserve someone who’s gonna love you as hard as you love them.
You have to admit, staying in a one sided relationship isn’t love, it’s self sabotage. You’re clinging to potential instead of facing the reality that this person is not capable of giving you what you need. And that’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to walk away.
Stop wasting your time on someone who treats you like an option. You are not a placeholder until something better comes along. You are the main character, Act like it. And if they can’t see that? Their loss. Now go take your power back.
